For as many sincere artists seem to be rising from under ground -- or Minnesota -- we are still knee deep in irony: Some Girls are just some guys. But there are a few band names that convey such crazy notions one can't help but surmise something from it. So I picked some whack-ass band names from this year's CMJ lineup to see what I thought they might sound like and what they actually sound like (to me).
FYI: The bands are not listed in order of outlandishness, just good ole alphabetic order.
10 Ft Ganja Plant
- Seems Like: Hope this isn't too obvious, but stoner rock with some major reggae influence. They sell glow sticks at their merch table in hopes of not seeming like a '70s throwback band.
- Sounds Like: A total Marley ripoff as far as the vocal inflection goes. I don't know about the glow sticks, though; the production is much too clean sounding to be mistaken for anything recorded in the '70s.
- Seems Like: Small-town freak-folksters with hometown pride, wearing their hearts on their sleeves and capos around their wrists.
- Sounds Like: Holy shit! I am almost pyschic. Well, I guess I'm not any more psychic than this band is freak-folk. But they defintely write acoustic guitar-based tunes with off-kilter male-female vocals that mix, country, rock, and folk with a bit of a twee-pop influence. Hearts and capos, be damned.
- Seems Like: A couple of simple guys who just want to "rawk" and be rid of all the artsy fartsy shite they are mired in, mostly because they actually go to an art school.
- Sounds Like: The picture of White Teen-Boy America in the late '80s: guitar violence, too many cymbals, whiskey-shredded throats, and bitter pills. So that angst thang is definitely a Complicated motif.
- Seems Like: Debate Rock is totally the next big thing! It's somewhere between the pretentious grooves of Talking Heads after Eno interfered and the multimovement quasi-complexity of a Panic at the Disco song. Except, of course, every song is topical and each member sings a verse expressing his or her own strongly worded opinion.
- Sounds Like: I know nothing about debating or the NHL, which holds both an Eastern and a Western Conference. Anyway, Eastern Conference Champions, the band, has a pedigree including members of CKY and Laguardia. They could get airplay if they can perfect their Muse and Radiohead-influenced big chorus tunes into a solid ECC sound.
- Seems Like: Noise terror to the Nth degree. Their videos feature fluffy lil' stuffed pandas with bloody teeth running around a cartoon rain forest in search of the quivering, naked body of Dubya.
- Sounds Like: What a bummer, I really liked my idea better than this mellow and pedestrian dub lite. I think I slipped into a coma listening to it.
- Seems Like: Some genius guy on some crazy shit, making Arto Lindsay circa DNA teary-eyed proud. Vocals chase each other like butterflies and beats skitter around guitar notes that sound like stretched Play-Doh looks.
- Sounds Like: Talk-singing guitar legend Kid Congo (of Nick Cave, Cramps fame) creates creepy rockabilly-lounge-like music cut lengthwise by sharp guitar anti-solos.
- Seems Like: What the fuck?!@#?!
- Sounds Like: So, Arthur Digby Sellers is the father of a minor character in the Big Lebowski. Like I said, what the fuck?!@#?! Had I equated this whole "prayers and tears" with emo, I would've at least been in the right ballpark. Perry Wright sings in an even, distant tone, though, while the warmth of the music is portrayed by violon and fuzzy electronics.
- Seems Like: Both impressions of this name creep me out. Either it's four frat boys who think they're sensitive because they have not given up hope on Counting Crows and named their band after their dank and keg-strewn practice spot or it's a long-lost Riot band who thought the whole movement was about screaming on stage about their slimy uncle, whether he existed or not.
- Sounds Like: First off, it's just astounding how much music is not only "out there" but "right here" in New York City. These guys have apparently been the house band at Mo Pitkins the last couple weeks and they look like a real spectacle. Puppets, costumes, makeup, dress suits, bright lights, platforms; the band playing classic narrative-based arena-rock a la Alice Cooper.
- Seems Like: A return to simpler times. Let's say fresh out-of-high-school teens playing spare, synth-driven pop with dreamy overtones gutted by sing-song vocals conveying apocalyptic scenes.
- Sounds Like: "Let's All Get Fades" is a hilarious song about getting your name shaved into your head, with the band's Dead Milkmen meets Butthole Surfers delivery. These guys are very serious. No, I'm serious.
1 comment:
This is hilarious! you're awesome. I am now very afraid to ever tell you the names of bands I like.
Post a Comment